Performative Health

Is there anything worse than a "reformed fatty"?

If weight loss is something you want to do – awesome. Do I need to overhear about your surgery to acheive it while I'm making a cup of tea in the kitchenette we all share? No. I. Don't. 

Like many fat activists before me, I have complained about the constant violence that fat people experience with fat-shaming talk, judgements about what we do and don't do along with assumptions about our relative health status that you can apparently obtain through some form of unwanted mind-meld/ psychic abilty. 

I've said it before and I'll say it again – STFU. 

When I started to get sick – and I mean bone-deep daily painful sick – all sorts of qualified and unqualified people had advice to give about it. Resilience to this onslaught of judgment/ unwanted advice/  paternalistic coddling is exhausting. While I can politely smile and silently will your face to explode so I don't have to listen to your opinions that I didn't ask for on my private business – I shouldn't have to. And sometimes I don't smile and you're suprised that I react with cynacism and a hint of vitriol. 

Am I angry? Sure am. 

Hearing women encourage other women to choose to be unnecessarily cut up in the name of "health" is deeply disturbing to me. I feel violated for having to even hear it. 

Hearing women who have been unnecessarily cut up proudly chirp about how they'll fit back into to those too-tight clothes is just surreal – like they've swallowed their own negative thoughts and spaces to then regurgitated a new "improved" shadow version back up. 

If you want to persue surgery so that you can perform health – it's your choice. But remember you make that choice from an echo chamber of false and damaging messages that tell you that you're not good enough just as you are. 

No amount of cutting or bloodletting will change that simple truth. If you can't live with the reality of you. 

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